Traditionally, the third Sunday of Advent is centered around the virtue of JOY.  Growing up, the nuns would tell us that true joy hapens when we follow the order of the lettering....Jesus-first, Others-second and Yourself last.  There is some truth to that maxim, although this kind of thinking flys in the face of our increasingly "me-centered" society.  I haven't felt too joy-filled of late and have begun to suspect that something is out of order in my own life or in my life as an artist. Pursuing this line of thought, I've come to understand that, like the Jesus-Others-Yourself maxim, there is a similar "right-relationship" order for my art-life that needs to be kept in balance.  I call it JOY by another annacronym:  Job-Order-Yes. 

I think that at the very root of my art-funk is my thinking.  I admit that I basically think of myself as a hobbiest. Although I am a serious artist and have worked my way into being an "almost" full time artist and am known as an artist, I suspect that under the covers of my thinking, I still see myself as a hobbiest.  The difference between art as a hobby and art as a job is huge!  As a hobbiest, I allow myself studio time only when I have the liesure to do so.  As an artist, I would go daily to the studio and work full hour days.  As a hobbiest, art happens only when there is a deadline or a compellling idea. With a job as an artist, I would work consistently, regularly while inspired or uninspired.

Ordering my life in the light of art-as-a-job would be easier.  As a hobbiest, I now take the time to view new e-mails as they arrive or answer the telephone on the first ring.  If my art were my job, I would order all of those constant interruptions to the end of the day or at a lunch break.  So much of new technology has allowed me to be always available, leaving me unavailable for what I truly want to do--ART.

So, what is stopping me from changing my thinking and revloutionizing my life?  One word...one big word.  "YES"   So that is what I will work with this week, transforming my insights to a new me.  Re-ordering my work from hobby to job. Saying "yes" by saying "no" to interruptions and non-essentials.  Practicing the virtue of JOY and hopefully feeling a little of it myself.

In the spirit of magnanmity, I took time last week to re-create my studio. I hate working in a crowded and cramped space, so I gave myself the gift of time to put things away, re-organize materials and just generally de-clutter.  As a result, I feel fresh and ready to work again.   I have some new casts in the works for my "Portal" series and am excited to begin the process of applying the wax.  There will be an interesting, I think, balance of color and the white of the embossed paper for this series.  I am also going to try underpainting with watercolor before I apply the wax, hoping to get greater depth and more subtility in color.

The virtue that presented itself to me for this week's practice is the virtue of ENOUGH.  For myself, it means taking all of the ordinary things in life slowly enough so that I am able to pick up the gentle nudgings of my body when I am arriving at the point of "enough."   When I am not living fully in the moment, I find that I push my body and my spirit beyond the point of what I need for food, for activity, for rest,...even for making art. 

Artists have to become skilled in knowing when to stop working on a piece of art...when to say, "enough."  It is an important skill to develop because it is so easy to really mess up months of work on a piece of art, by working beyond the capacity of the canvas to hold the idea.  That is one advantage of working in a series.  Everything doesn't have to be said on one canvas. We can take several works to nuance ideas, explore images and paint with different pallets. 

As artists there is a quality of "enough" that does trap us.  It is the distructive place of not being "enough" ourselves.  There is so much great work out there and so many successful artists that it is easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves and our work to others.  When I go there, my art suffers from starvation. I am furiously feeding the hunger of my self-esteem rather than enjoying the food of my own truth.  I know it is one of my most significant struggles in the making of art.

So, this week, in the gentle spirit of "enough", I will look at the work of others in a spirit of delight and appreciation.   I will travel my own solitary road, one step at a time, making the path as I go....and it will be enough. 

Do you, too, find it difficult to see yourself and your work as enough?  Comments are welcome.